Before I speak, Should I speak? | Thursday Thoughts

Hey everyone!

This will probably be quite a controversial post. I've always been the type of person that loves giving advice, and helping people in situations their in because of experiences I've been through. I'm an opinionated person and will always tell a person what I truly think in order to help them. If I just tell them what they want to hear, I don't believe that's being a good friend and will help them, and a lot of the time i'm right about what I tell people (sorry to sound big headed). This can become quite frustrating and also sad, when you give advice, but then have to sit back and watch people go through things you know is going to result in a negative effect.

But I've been thinking lately, is it always worth it?
This can come across quite harsh, but sometimes a better approach to giving your opinion or advice is to not say anything at all. Sometimes, by not saying anything, you can actually help a person more.

Let me give you an example, when it comes to guys, my friends always say i'm the best at giving advice and always come to me. But when we're in a happy place, sometimes we find it hard to see things from an outer perspective because were so blinded by how happy we are or think we are. 

Sometimes by saying your opinion to try and help someone, it can result in the opposite effect, because they don't want to believe it.

What we forget to remember, is our friends have our best interest at heart and can see things we sometimes can't see. However, I've come to realise that no matter what you say to a person to help them, they will of course do what they feel is right in the end. The positive outcome of this, is that you put the thought in their head. But people always learn through their own experiences, and sometimes have to find out the hard way - I for one am the first to hold my hands up to this, regarding my relationship post which you can view HERE. I couldn't see from an outer perspective where people were coming from.

I'd like to think of myself as an approachable person and never want someone to feel like they can't express themselves to me, because of what they don't want to hear. I've learn't that saying a positive and negative of the situation has a better outcome. People then feel happier about the situation they are in and are more likely to ask for your advice and take in what you say.

Is it better to just keep quiet sometimes? What are your opinions on this? I'd love to hear :)

27 comments

  1. I totally see where you're coming from as I have the same issues. I'm quite level headed and can see things going wrong, but usually my friends don't want to listen until it's too late! I think it's good to say your thoughts and opinions to your friends, but don't keep on about it, just say your piece and if they want to listen they will!


    LAURA THINKS ABOUT BLOG

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  2. Great post.

    www.themakeupaficionado.com

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  3. This is something that I've thought about myself. I usually tend to give my advice and to leave it at that rather than to keep banging on about it. That way you've given your opinion and then it comes down to if your friend wants to take that on board or not xx

    www.adaliascloset.blogspot.co.uk

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    1. Yeah I agree! It can be hard because you don't want them getting annoyed but at the same time your just trying to be a good friend xx

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  4. This is a great post! It's something my mom always said to me growing up and I think I forgot it through the years! This was very insightful! :) Sometimes silence says everything!

    Shannon Sage

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    1. Thank you! :) definitely, silence is sometimes more effective and says more! xx

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  5. I often wonder about this. I think it depends on the situation. If it's a bad relationship I think I'd have to tell my friend- as it will hurt her eventually. Great post

    Rachel xx
    http://www.thedailyluxe.net

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    1. Yeah depending on the situation is a good way to go about it xx

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  6. I think it's important to say what you feel if it's your best friend or family member as you only want the best for them xx

    Gemma | www.missmakeupmagpie.com ❤️

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  7. You've pointed out an extremely relevant issue in communication in this one, Shelise. Human beings are internally wired and are more inclined to react in proportion to their emotions so bringing up clashing opinions may cause tension, disbelief and even ill-intentions to arise. I think the key is to find balance and be sensible about when you should or should not speak up. It's highly dependent on the situation as well, so an analysis of circumstances shall do!

    May | THE MAYDEN | bloglovin'

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    1. Yeah I think it definitely depends on the situation, it can be tricky, i'm on edge sometimes thinking whether or not to say! xx

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  8. I often wonder about this and reading this post was great!
    Fashion Soup

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  9. What a great post! Thanks for sharing!

    http://www.alovelystyle.com/

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  10. great post. It is better to be quiet but sometimes, it is okay to speak up. It is all about knowing the right thing to say and the right time to say it.
    wendeeisaacs.com

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  11. It's always better to be quiet most of the time and think things through before you say anything but sometimes I just can't help myself and I usually blurt out of anger. :(

    Angelie // Ramen Nagi Review

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    1. Yeah true! I do that as well, I tend to say what I think too quickly without thinking it though first! xx

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  12. Sometimes silence speaks louder than the words and I agree, we need to think a lot before we speak and see if we say anything at all.
    Ivona from www.thesmokedetector.net
    xox

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  13. I think speaking up your mind in a kind way (in order to advise or help someone) is a great thing to do. Sometimes yes, people doesn't want to hear the truth but it is always better to express your opinion. Great post.

    www.kmeetsstyle.com

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    1. Thank you! Yeah can be a bit difficult, I agree xx

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  14. Difficult subject but I loved reading your opinion!
    -morgs x
    http://justmorgs.blogspot.co.uk

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Thanks for your comment! x